March 4, 2024

Grief & Loss

"When you lose a dog, you not only lose the animal that has been your friend, you also lose a connection to the person you have been"
Jennifer Finney Boylan

I’ve been grieving in the last 3 weeks. On and off. But when did I really start grieving? Was it only 3 weeks ago when Ozzy died? Was it when Ozzy started coughing and no medication was helping him? Was it when he stopped walking years ago and I realize that he was getting old? Was it when I got him when he was 2 months old and I felt so vulnerable to the thought that he could die? When do we really start grieving for the pet or people or relationships we lose? When we lose them? When we understand that we are about to lose them? Or when we are happy and there is this lingering thought, a feeble whisper that everything is destined to change, leave its shape, becoming energy, Universe itself.

And what do we grieve? Only the pet, person, relationship etcetera or we also grieve the person we were with them? The things that we won’t do anymore without them? All the things that we will never be anymore without them?This morning during my morning tarot reading I got the Nine of Swords, which is a card that talks also about mourning and grieving. After that one I got an oracle card about transformation and after that I got another oracle card about love, divine union, infinity.The work is alchemical. It is in transforming the grief and the sadness and the lost in pure infinite love. it is in looking inward and see that everything we are grieving will be in our hearts forever. That nothing we truly love ever goes away.

Love is one of the blessing of the human experience, whether the bond is with human, pet or divinity. Love is a miracle because we witness the merging of two energies that together create a third energy that can exist only until the two energiesare together. When one of the two energies leaves we don’t lose just them we lose this beautiful third energetically entity that was half us and half them. And we feel lost, we feel sad, we feel so much pain. But as we breath, as we move inward towards our heart center, as we start feeling, as we find our hearts and we leave the territory of the mind, the logic, the things that we need to touch... here they are...

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Love,
Julia.